so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
