I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
