just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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