He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
