Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
