i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize