Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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