What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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