You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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