ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
