That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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