You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
