we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
