Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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