he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
