We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
