I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
