i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
