Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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