Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm just crazy horny about you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize