I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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