Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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