Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize