is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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