apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
