I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
