on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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