is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
