No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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