Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
