And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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