i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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