I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
