Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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