im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
