This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
