I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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