I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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