My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
