Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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