You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
