Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did you get engaged???
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize