uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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