I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
