You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
