The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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