My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
