i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
