we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
