my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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