You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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