This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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