I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
