Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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