yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
