it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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