I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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