Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
